February 1, 2016

A life with no breaks...

Jeannette Francis Manha (Jan) was born in 1921 to a middle class family in a tiny rural farming community of Portuguese Catholic immigrants - the children and grandchildren of European indentured servants. She grew up in the Catholic community of the Santa Clara Jesuit mission area. Santa Clara was a young community of 20,000 people, only 50 years from being a totally rural and native-American agricultural community. El Camino Real was the only even remotely major road, a winding dirt track that snaked through orchards and farms owned by the Stanford family to San Francisco 40 miles away.

Jan grew up in a safe home in a young community, but when she was 11 years old, she watched her parents, and then the rest of her family lose everything in the Great Depression. There was a run on banks, and because there was no money to pay her parents back, they were given the deeds to foreclosed property in the area (Santa Clara and San Jose). Given what we now know about Silicon Valley real estate, this could seem like a good deal; but at the time, it was probably the ultimate insult. ("You can't have your money, but here are the deeds to some dirt lots.")

The experience of watching her parents go through this during her teenage years affected Jan greatly and even though she was a happy and gregarious youth, it was tempered by her conservatism, savings, and distrust of institutions for her whole life that followed.

Jan pursued higher education at Santa Clara University at the urge of her grandfather (a former indentured servant who valued education above all else). She even took classes at Stanford on exchange, which, randomly, led her to encounter another person who was important in her life when she was 18.

Robert (Bob) Ernest Carlson (also born in 1921) grew up in Oakland, then Menlo Park and Redwood City. He was an Eagle Scout, band member, and outgoing classmate. He was remembered as an incredibly social young man. You can imagine what happened when a feisty and slightly disenchanted dark-haired daughter of a Catholic family meets a bright blue eyed Swedish man, whose dirty blond hair is unkempt with a huge smile. She invited him to a sorority dance.

This all happened in 1939-1941 when they were both 19-20, but the world interrupted their unlikely courtship with a war (in addition to the members of Jan's family who made it clear that a boy, even a Stanford boy, who was not a church member would be a betrayal of the entire family.) Being a Catholic girl on the Mission Trail in the 1940s was not a joke or an option.

They saw Pearl Harbor in 1941, which meant even more to Jan since her Grandparents were indentured servants in the fields of Hawaii for 5 years. Bob Carlson graduated from Stanford in 1942 and then enlisted in the Navy as a Yeoman. He shipped out to the Philippines, but never mentioned in his letters what was really going on. He was a helmsman on two ships that ended up at Guadalcanal and Leyte Gulf. He earned two Presidential Unit Commendations, and returned to his girlfriend to marry her (against the wishes of her family) in 1945 when they were 24.

He got a job as an accountant/auditor in San Francisco, and began climbing the ladder. Jan was happy and did not dwell on defying her whole family. They found a small house in Santa Clara (Bob's commute was at least a 2 hr round trip each day) and enjoyed the life of a young married couple with her as a banker and he as an auditor. He also became involved in local politics.

The got pregnant in 1947 and had a boy named William in 1948. Bob was an officer of the University Club and joined the Santa Clara School Board in anticipation of his future children, but William died of influenza when he was less than a year old. They struggled with the loss of their first baby, but soon recovered enough to have another, Claudia, in 1949 and Linda followed, in 1951.

Bob loved his daughters, but also put pressure on them that, in retrospect, appears to have been displaced from his lost son to get educated and break barriers. They had brunch every Sunday at La Rinconada Country Club in Los Gatos. Bob was passed over for Partner at Peat Marwick, along with a friend named John (a Tax Manager), and they decided to go out on their own and go into business in Santa Clara. Their initial client list was driven by Bob's charisma and Jan's deep family relationships in the local Catholic community. They were very important people in Santa Clara in the 1950s and 60s.

1967 - in February, during tax season, Bob Carlson had a massive heart attack and was pronounced dead before he made it to the hospital. He had smoked and worked hard his entire life, but it was still a surprise. His first daughter was a freshman at Occidental College in LA, and his second was a junior in high school. Jan would, at the age of 90, describe this as the most important event of her life.

This was the third time that she had allowed herself to feel joy and comfort and then watch it be ripped away (including Great Depression, William's death). She was a professional woman and could support her family, but she was away from her oldest daughter, and they all dealt with their grief without communicating. Claudia held incredible guilt for being away when Bob died; Linda and Jan grew very close together in those few years before she went to college.

Jan bought a plot in the non-sectarian city cemetery, very decidedly away from every member of her family. It was clear that she cemented her decision to marry Bob, even in his death.

Claudia drove herself harder in her father's absence - becoming a flight instructor and one of the first female air traffic controllers in San Francisco. This led to a very 'exciting' decade in a fun profession, flying the world in jump seats. Linda chose a different path, and met her husband while getting a Masters from Thunderbird. Claudia married an older Engineer from HP and they grew into a love of Porsche cars and that community. Jan found a handful of male companions, but never married any of them - her husband had passed away, but he was not gone.

Linda was diagnosed with kidney failure in the late 70s, at the same time Claudia had two young children, and the tension led to a split in the family over support, and transplants, and other medical issues. Jan chose to be near her sick daughter (Linda) and stuck with that decision, even though that made her a virtual stranger to Claudia and her children (who chose to live in Oregon and then Arizona), but Jan did not want to be gone when a child died.

Linda took 20 years of pain and discomfort to die, and during that time Claudia and her husband made a different life, but it was clear Claudia was trying to give her children the same value of education as Bob did. Linda passed without any children in 2002. Jan at this point was happy with one of her companions, but Claudia's children were already grown and Claudia struggled with the same anxiety as her father.

Claudia died in 2011, and then Jan's friend and companion in 2013. Jan was 91 and had then seen everything taken from her periodically throughout her life. She saved and stashed and remained distrustful of institutions her whole life. She was always willing to invest in education, but she never made her support public, and remained the 'silent partner' for several school bills.

Jan led the life of someone who lost and gained, who inherited her Father's depression properties, sold her husband's business and tried to raise her daughters after losing an extraordinary father. She could not catch a break - her husband might have been a very important man, had he not died at 46. Her entire life was one 'in response' to events; she may never have felt like she was truly in control.

She died peacefully in her bed, with 2 grandchildren (Claudia's children) and the pictures of her 3 great-grandchildren surrounding her, at the age of 94. She chose to be buried away from her family, with her husband in the city cemetery (Mission City Memorial Park); defiant in her final act. She was a strong and indepedent woman and gave the value of that spirit to her posterity.

November 18, 2015

What if the change I have made in this life is already done?

Is everything beyond this point a bonus?

What is the definition of a good life? Is it in accomplishments? Ideas? Beliefs that carry forward? Should we measure it in money or economic impact? Does being a good human simply equate to not hurting anyone? I have struggled with this issue, and the pride that comes with 'feeling like you were meant for something more.' 

It is odd that humans, so pedestrian in our lives, have such grand ambitions and manage to pass these to our children generation after generation. The question that vexes me now is: what if the transformational change I have made in this life is already done? I have read books about great people who impact the world since I was a child. I grew up with no other purpose than to 'be important' or to 'have other people recognize me and the impact I made.' I do not know how exactly this came to be, but by the time I was in high school, it was clear that satisfying my personal demons would not be easy.

 This same motivation has led smart people to places beyond recognition. I am 36 now. My decisions at points in my youth have occasionally been questionable, but death has not found me, and has left me for another day. I have been lucky, in almost every aspect of my life. I have found a partner and produced 3 of the most beautiful and interesting creatures I could possible imagine. My path has led me to help many people - some who I remember, and some who I helped and immediately forgot. I know for a fact that I have made a positive impact on a few people's lives - but I hope that those people I talked with for only 30 min, or those that I spoke to in passing at a party - I hope that the advice I gave them changed their lives as well. 

What if the most important thing I did in this life is done already and I don't even know it? History is written in retrospect; it is likely that this assessment will not be made until several decades from now. 

Am I so caught up in the rat race, and the drive to improve - that the thought just hadn't occurred to me until today: What if the transformational change that I have made in this life is already done? What if the impact I was supposed to make was not through me, but through the things I taught and helped people with? Is the impact I will make outside of my own life (professionally and intellectually) complete, and will it be manifested by others on my behalf? Will I even be remembered? This is all disturbing, and yet strangely liberating. 

If the die is cast, so to speak; then all I need to do from this point forward is love my family and be the best father to my children that I can be … there are so many stories of parents chasing some impossible dream when their most important work is right in front of them. I think this could change the way I work, the way I live, the way I decide my priorities. 

Is everything I do in this world beyond this point a bonus, and will my impact really be judged by the work of my children, and the actions they take… if so, what do I do from this point forward? Continue to climb the wheel? Or focus on others and enjoy the ride?

July 9, 2013

Life in Denver

It is always interesting to see how life changes. Fatherhood is the most exciting journey I have been on, and I am glad to be doing it in this beautiful place.

Stay tuned for more mountain adventures with the Fleming's....

September 3, 2011

MBA and Debt - Get comfortable with the idea...

In Getting the MBA Edge - Wharton 2011/12 - Preview Guide, we talk about all the things that are officially and unofficially part of the Wharton MBA student budget. Unfortunately, the student loan covered items can be eclipsed by nickel and dime items, as well as various 'bonus experiences' that can cost several thousands of dollars.

This week Poets and Quants published an article about the record breaking debt that will be incurred by the Wharton MBA Class of 2013.

Here are some examples of things that can drive up the cost from what you see in the brochures:

· MBA Pub dues (generally $120 for the year)

· Various Club dues (up to $500 for the year on the expensive end, or as little as $5)

· Leadership Ventures (VERY EXPENSIVE, up to $8000 depending on your destination)

· Global Immersion Programs (another high $$$ item)

· Recruiting travel for unofficial events (see ‘informational interviews’ in the Career Management section)

· Budget for parties, bars, and group dinners (can be up to $400 a week if you go out a lot)

· Cabs to get around Philadelphia at night (a priority, especially for female students in a big city)

· Vacation travel with clubs (the Japan Trek, Wharton Rugby South Africa tour, etc…)

· Weekend travel for social events (Wharton Ski Trip, Beach Week, etc…)


The interesting part about all of this, is the fact that all of this does indeed put pressure on students at graduation. Not even the most well funded non-profit can offer a salary that offsets rent in a major city combined with $1500 per month student loan payments. This may have the effect of pushing students into jobs that can allow even a decent lifestyle after graduation.

This cash flow punishment on graduates does encourage them to do nothing but work, but people who have families or are trying to start them will be under incredible pressure.

All of this leads to the question - is this degree really REALLY worth it? If you do not know the answer to that question before you start, you might want to reconsider the journey.

In Getting the MBA Edge, we quote one of the songs in Wharton Follies 2008 that said "$150,000 is a small price to pay for a priceless time." You need to decide if you agree with that...

September 1, 2011

Applicant Group Discussions (?!) at Wharton - What do they mean for you?

"Getting the MBA Edge - Wharton 2011/12 - Preview Guide" ends by saying that innovation in future Wharton application format and style is a clear opportunity given the mission of the school - well, some of that innovation was revealed today by Ankur Kumar, the newly promoted Director of Admisssions.

If you read today's WSJ you saw an article about innovative Admissions practices, and this bomb-shell was buried halfway through...

"Admissions officers say they are looking for more authenticity and honesty, since essays can be carefully crafted, often with help from a professional M.B.A. admissions consultant.

Beginning this winter, the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School will invite a random sampling of M.B.A. applicants to participate in a staff-moderated on-campus group discussion with fellow applicants. They will be encouraged to discuss and debate current topics in business, as chosen by the school...

...Ankur Kumar, director of M.B.A. admissions and financial aid at Wharton, said the purpose is to give applicants "a chance to demonstrate, not just talk about" their critical thinking skills and intellectual curiosity.

Though this year's discussions won't count toward the admission decision, if the pilot goes well, the exercise could show up as a regular component of future Wharton applications, alongside transcript, test scores and recommendations
"

This is no less than a ground breaking change in the way that candidates are evaluated - essentially you are going to be observed on how you actually interact with other applicants, in a real life discussion. It stands to reason that the moderator will also be observing and (likely) evaluating the conduct of the people in the room to see if they have the qualities of a good Wharton MBA.

The MBA application in America (though you see some examples of group work in European schools) has, up to now, been an interaction between a single person and the Admissions committee. Anybody can be on their best behavior in an interview, but what is going to happen when you are in a room full of equally competitive and motivated people interviewing for a degree that will change their life forever, and you may be evaluated on (gasp!) how you actually listen and work with others.

Applicants out there who are prepared to plow over anyone in their way to an MBA are thinking: "That is just crazy talk! Thanks alot, Wharton, for breaking my carefully scripted and planned image of chosen recommenders, consultant polished essays, and carefully chosen background items and forcing me to actually be myself."

Is it possible that these interactions will tell the committee more about a person than an individual interview ever would? From the Director's comments above, it seems like this interaction may actually have a chance of replacing an individual interview?

In "Getting the MBA Edge - Wharton 2011/12 - Preview Guide" we discussed the shift of Wharton towards behavioral interviewing, and the qualities they may be looking for with last year's questions - odds are that this group discussion may be a better way of evaluating those key qualities...

No matter how you slice it - Wharton is thinking outside of the box here, and trying a totally new way of making applicants work together, and this better reflects what actually happens in MBA, in business leadership, and ... to some degree ... in life.

August 27, 2011

Getting the MBA Edge - Wharton 2011/12 (Preview Guide) (Series - Getting the MBA Edge (sponsored by Goldman Sachs and McKinsey & Co.))

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005JKEQAG

Friends - for those of you who are thinking about apply to Wharton or getting an MBA, I have worked hard this year on an update to the 'Getting the MBA Edge' series about Wharton

I recommend this work to you - Please watch this site for updates and advice as the year progresses...

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005JKEQAG


The Wharton edition of this international bestselling series is intended to be a resource and guide for those evaluating the world's top MBA programs to learn more about the school and the application process beyond the ‘official story.’

It provides in-depth analysis of the Wharton MBA program including:
- Changes and trends in the Wharton MBA Application and impact for applicants
- Analysis of the latest admissions essays, with clear advice on how to approach them
- 5 things behind the numbers that you didn’t know about Wharton
- The future of path of the Wharton MBA Academic Program
- Notes on the past and future of the application from a former admissions committee member
- Key themes driving the future of the Wharton MBA Program
- 5 things you thought you knew about the Wharton MBA Application
- 5 things you did not know about the Wharton MBA Application
- Breakdown of the MBA interview process at Wharton
- Student Voices on all aspects of the Wharton experience

"A wonderful resource" - Judith Silverman Hodara, former acting Admissions Director, Wharton School
"Accepted to Wharton thanks to your book" - Teddy Ngu

This is the only book on MBAs that has been officially supported and sponsored by Goldman Sachs, McKinsey & Co., BCG, Bain & Co., Booz, AT Kearney, Novartis, Cap Gemini and Roland Berger & Partners.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005JKEQAG

Hurricane 2011 NYC!

OK, it has been an interesting year no matter how you slice it, but now I am at an interesting predicament. I am hanging out with my 21 week pregnant wife in an apartment on the Upper East Side - and there is a 100-year storm on the way.

We are riding it out here, but it should be fun!